Friday, August 27, 2004

What the!!! Kena complaint by so many ppl cos i didn't update my blog... ... Don't let me catch you not updating yours too k... Haha! My 1st day at Bedok Polyclinic isn't as bad as i thought, although the distance is abit too far but the ppl and the environment there made me feel welcome and can forget abt the long journey home for the time being. Something shocked me, the surroundings are very similar to Clementi's, shops all over and lots of hawker centres, even the staffs there, makes me think of those in Clementi. Feeling that everything is coming back to me again. I've a very stupid mistake on my 1st attempt in Phlebotomy, guess wat, i 4got to prepare my swab, nearly made a mess there. Ha, but i still managed to get a full tube lah. Didn't get scolded too. I got to get blood from a little boy today, haiz that's a failure. Throw face man. Know what? Friends out there, if you are interested in getting a new hp, visit Bedok. Every other shop there's a hp shop. M1 lah, Singtel lah, Starhub lah, private shops lah, repair shops lah, hp cover shops lah, whatever's associated to hp. Absurd man! Had a hard time allocating the polyclinic, i can't even see a signboard outside k, i had to ask ard. It's above the NTUC... =_="' Very isolated, and i used the life at the backdoor... Very eerie... Esp at this period of the year...
Well, being stubborn, i took 66 home instead of MRT. It took me one and a half hour to reach home in the end. I was so tired that i slept in the bus (which is unusual of me).
The test ytd was the only think that i'm worried abt, the way i did my MCQs and my last short-ans question... Hahaha! shld have an olympics in tt area, i'll do Singapore's proud and end their 44 yrs of agony. All i ask is to pass my test. To be really frank, this is my 1st time thinking that the test is difficult. Last time i used to use very minimal time to ponder over the qns, but ytd, i actually stopped several times for some time to force my brain cells to secrete their "sauce" out. Maybe i'll get Alzheimer's disease earlier, if not then Dermentia.
Sorry guys, if you are expecting something from my entry today, go ahead and feel disppointed and bored. I'm not feeling very interesting today. If i really had to mention something interesting, it will be my trip to SGH, the Histopathology lab. Have anyone (accept my classmates) seen a piece of Breast in the hands of a man who can expressionlessly describe it's morphology in details? Or seen a piece of fish meat-like piece if human flesh on a chopping board? Or seen packets of organs in Formalin waiting to be dissected? Don't worry, i went there for EXPOSURE only, definitely traning to be one of them. But maybe i'll see one of yours there in future... ... Hahaha! But hope not okay? Take good care of your health.

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Friday, August 27, 2004
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Sunday, August 22, 2004

Guess what i'm doing now. I'm not studying at the mmt although it's common test wk. Been staying up each nite without fail just to catch my fave olympics event. Swimming. Of all times, they wanna show at 12.30am... ... I remembered TCS 5 actually took the slot out twice just to show the badminton and table tennis quarter finals, it was outraging for me... Sian man! I'm not someone who is not patriotic, i'm definitely supportive towards Singapore's dream to achieve at least an olympic medal after waiting for 44 years. But sometimes, i just prefer to see what I want rather than to see what I should... Well, i guess the only reason why i'm not as supportive as any of my other friends towards the Singapore's team is very simple. They aint Singapore aint they? I'm not trying to say anything bad but just a little bit of a selfish thinking here. It's as simple as a Vegetarian Abalone with Supreme Oyster sauce if you know what i mean. To be frank, i'm quite disppointed not to see S'pore's swimmers hahaha! In fact there are very few asian swimmers in the pool since the semi-finals except the few from Japan and China. Maybe it's the game of the Aussies and US... breaking their own records and receiving all the support from their fellow supporters and feeling the euphoria over their victory in the game. Isn't it wonderful? Being the 1st and fastest in the world. Haiz... it's something i could only envy... ...

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Sunday, August 22, 2004
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Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Not everyday of my life is interesting. I must admit that i prefer to write when i'm not feeling good. So, in other words, i usually type when i'm angry or sad. Or else, the entries i enter will always be as boring as this. What to do? I'm someone who can only express myself better when i'm inspired to. Been watching the Olympics lately, probably cos i don't feel like studying... There are always temptations during studying wk. Hmmm, Ppl who know me well enough will know that i have other "motives" to watch it. But anyway, i'm just trying to make myself happy at the same time. Going to have two performances coming up for me, tml and thursday, they are graduation performances. Well, that reminds me of my violin exam. How i wish i can get my results now and get over with it. I'm not worried or something, just anxious... I'm not always a worrier k? I guess i've let things as they are now. I used to worry alot abt other things like my friends, my surroundings...etc. I worry abt them less now. Less expectations, less disappointment, more happiness, more freedom.

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Tuesday, August 17, 2004
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hey ger wat happen to you again???i agreed that Less expectations, less disappointment, more happiness, more freedom but there are sure some fren u worth worry for ba??? and at the same time there are someone out there worry abt you as well...anw take care!
 
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Saturday, August 14, 2004

Today i wondered alot abt myself, things and ppl ard me. The thoughts complied in my mind and conquer my entire day. Nvr a sec i stop pondering. I saw a lizard on the wall and i spoke to it everytime i passed by it. After a few times, i asked it y didn't it want to do something else besides stoning there. I love Lizards esp Geckoes. I find it a pleasure to talk to it. After several mins, my bro told me tt a lizard was infested by ants n i need to clear it up. So it was dead all along, although it was on the wall. It sort of gave me a sign and hint to wat was troubling me. Wats on the outside is not equivalent to the inside. Disppointment. This is the word. It is associated to all aspects in my life now. Been trying to hide but it's ever existing. The more positive i'm trying to be, the more negative feedbacks i get in return. My past is pulling me back. Time and time i told myself not to fall back but i guess my soul has already surrendered against my will. I don't like wat i see, i didn't have wat i deserve and expected. Maybe i'm asking too much. But what is ard me? I'm just like an empty bottle on the shelf full of filled bottles. I may be chosen to be used, but the person who used me wasn't my owner. He's someone very far away from me. Someone unexpected. Still i'm glad to be used. At least that person find me useful. What happened to my owners?? That's where my disppointment lies and started. Today is the 14th of Aug. I began to ask myself wat have i achieved for the past one yr. I realised that i've lost alot. I have the urge to drown myself in my past once again, although i know i shldn't. It roams ard me every now and then. Haunting me every mmt of my life. Feel like taking it out but i've already kept it safe and tight. I've lost the courage to open it and close it after that. When will i ever gain that courage. Life's not complicated, it's just the absence of simplicity.


gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Saturday, August 14, 2004
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O ger wat are doing...if u need someone to tok to,cum to mi ba...you are most welcome dun ever tok to a lizard again le...keke
 
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Sunday, August 08, 2004

Feeling much lighter today, cos i've finished my project!!!! And i've just broke another record this morning by slping at 5.00am. Really have to thank my friends whom i had conference call with last night. Our crappy converstions helped alot in staying awake throughout the entire night and morning. Hmmm, not to scare you, we actually chat for almost 6 hours!!!!
Tomorrow i need to go back to sch for the NDP thingy again. Just like many of my friends, i'm not as ethusiastic as last yr & i really don't feel like going tml. It's more of a waste of time then an experience to gain.
Tried very hard to study for my test this afternoon, but now??? i'm online again. Hahaha!! And i intend to watch TV later on. CSI!! Been missing many episodes already... I must get my entertainment back!
Added a counter to my blog, the next thing i'm going to add is a photoblog.
But i'll take a longer time. Haiz... when will my blog look more interesting? Didn't tell many ppl abt this blog cos it's not well-established yet. No confidence to show too many ppl unless i "think" they don't mind reading my boring entires without much add-ons.
Managed to find my old entries from Diaryland... realised that my entries there sounds very different!! I'm more optimisstic here. Maybe in time to come the entries here will become more serious... ... Or maybe very soon...

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Sunday, August 08, 2004
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Saturday, August 07, 2004

Hi! It's 4.15am now and i'm still online sitting in front of my computer. Just managed to finish one-third of my project. Yes, 4 hours and yet only one-third. Rather slow... I've just decided to turn in but just wanna drop by to say a few words b4 i visit my dreamland. Today, i mean ytd... was a very busy day. Did the stupid Electrophoresis twice yet without good results, but it's kinda disappointed to find out that many silly mistakes were made but the process of trying to hide it from the supervisor to stay out of trouble was exciting!! I don't mind making mistakes you know, but sometimes, you just know that the mistakes you made was too absurd that you'll definitely get the worst scolding. Fret not, it's not one of those that will cause an explosion in the lab or rather, it'll probably explode yr lungs first as you burst in laughter after you know the reason. It's just too stupid. Many thanks to my bestest best friend, Sylvia for practising with me for the upcoming Violin exams next Fri. We tried duetting Canon in D, as for me, tt was my very 1st time playing it w/ a violin w/ the piano. Cos usually it's me who play the piano instead. I'm actually feeling very guilty to let her wait for me twice for an hour... ... Oh my, thinking of her reminds me of another apologetic matter. I still haven buy a present for my other best friend whose birthdate was on the... ... .. 3rd of JULY!!!!!! Haiz, always forget and can't find the time to do so. I guess being my friend must be difficult huh?? Well, that's what friends are for too right??!! Enduring each other's bad points! :)
Got to slp now, it's 4.30am already!!

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Saturday, August 07, 2004
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Thursday, August 05, 2004

I'm feeling very defident about my project now.
Oh my! It's not going the way i wanted and planned it to... ...
Meanwhile i'm waitining for my electrophoresis, if it turns out well, then there's still hope in my pipetting skills. If otherwise, i really don't know how to describe my skills... ... For years i've used the stupid pipet and this is how it treats me! Haha! Although i'm quite okay on the outside now, but in fact i'm very anxious inside. Hmmm, still have another 22 mins more.
Feel like watching The Village, don't know if it'll turn out scary, can say that i'm immune to most horror movies already, and i'm beginning to prefer action and sci-fi than horror. Especially the movie i had watched the other day, The Sister, it was a Thai horror movie, it was not scary at all but still i like the settings of the movie and the atmosphere of it. Hope the directors can improve on their skills and imagination before shooting another horror movie. At the mmt, i'm still giving them a chance cos the Hungry Ghost Month is coming!!!!!!! Which means there'll be more horror movie to watch before i can really conclude that i'm immune to the tactics used by those directors.
Trying to add more live in my blog by adding "imood" inside here, haiz hope it'll appear... ...

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Thursday, August 05, 2004
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Yo!! my poor blog, have not been updating you, seems that i've neglected you.
What to do? My 2 projects, assignments, exams, tests and down in luck. Misplace a couple of impt things like my Verification Form for my violin exams... ... Really stupid. My room is in a mess, frankly the only things i do when i reach home are bathe, eat and slp. What the hell! By the time i settle down in my room it's about time to slp. I think i shld really pay my Mum like i'm staying in an inn... For the past 1 week i was not only busy, i was sick and tired. Too much things to accomplish within a short period o f time. I've not been able to do things that i enjoy, typing this is just an exception. Later i still has project to do. And i don't know what time i'll reach home. So, dear blog, i wouldn't be able to change yr outlook at the mmt. Remind as Orlando Bloom ba... Sorry for guy out there who are sick of him, Hahaha!
Hope everything will be fine after the common test cos it is when all the datelines will be over. And there'll be another new beginning!!! ^_^
Just bought Jay Chou's new album, hope i can win the Panasonic handphone, poor gal like me haf to wait for such chances to get expensive things... *=*
Oh ya! basically wat u can do at my blog is read wat i type and gave some comments, no others, i need time to "explore" and learn how to add other interesting and entertaining things here. So, sorry ah, don't expect too much!

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Wednesday, August 04, 2004
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