Saturday, May 28, 2005

I believe tt some days in your life, you think alot & some days you just take whatever comes along your way. Thinking is a process in life which makes one grow, develop & more conscious abt what you will & are going through. What triggers it can be anyone or anything of any form at any point of time.
Today is the day when i think alot abt life. Not my life, not abt the way i shld live my life, but life in general. No matter what religion or beliefs we have, there'll come a time when we have to go through e 4 basic phrases of life. Birth, Aging, Ill & Death.
I shall focus on Death for now.
"He glanced at me w his fragile eyes when i 1st looked at him. Does he still remember me? I wondered. I wanted to ask if he's feeling ok. But i didn't, not sure if i didn't dare to. At e same time, my defiant mind was banging, opposing my mouth, "Speak up you idiot! This is the last chance!." My mind was defeated, I decided 2 leave e talking 2 those ard me. I just couldn't force myself and wished tt i could telepath to him. For e very 1st time in my life, i felt tt communication was beyond my ability. I nvr felt so reluctant 2 speak my mind.
Why?? I'm so afraid. I'm afraid tt i would break down & cry showing my inner self, i'm such a timid idiot.
He forced himself to speak and nothing but sounds of exhaustion coughed through his teethless mouth. I realised tt he took plenty of effort to even open his mouth. He will nvr again be able to talk to us" I thought.
I could do nothing but allow myself to reminisce those happy mmts few mths ago.
It was CNY, he visited us. He was so healthy back then, i didn't talk much to him & vice versa. It was the language problem. But i'm sure if i could speak tt tougue, we have lots to share. It was just another CNY like before.
Now, he almost like a full scale skeleton lying lifeless on e solemn bed, w all e tubings going through his nose, hands & waist. Seeing all e bruises on both bony arms caused by venipuncture hurts my heart. How much more pain does he has to go through??? Even now if i opened my mouth to speak to him and forget abt e embarrassement of speaking inaccurate Canto , he'll not be able to reply me already. If you really have something to tell anyone, tell him NOW. You'll nvr know when you'll forever lose the chance to do it.
I couldn't stand it, i have no guts 2C him in tt state. But i knew this could be e last chance. I hid my tears, forcing myself 2 look away while i dry them. I thought i was strong but i was weak. I wasn't sure how i shld react, i was trying 2B myself & at e same time cover myself. Too much thoughts, too much emotions, all piercing towards me. I've lost all defence & I'm falling rapidly under. I've lost my arms 2 reach out n all means 2 get up again. I'm buried alive.
We were told 2 prepared 4 e worst. It can be any time nw. If i could drag my every sec 2 extend his life, i would. Beyond that, I don't know, i really don't know, pls save him................"

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Saturday, May 28, 2005
Comments:
Best regards from NY!
» »
 
Post a Comment

+Tagboard!+

Powered by TagBoard Message Board
Name

URL or Email

Messages(smilies)

+Profile+


Location: Singapore.
Birthdate: 08/03/85 ; Pisces
Sch: Woodlands Pri, Bukit View Pri & Sec, Ngee Ann Poly

The current mood of gecko85 at www.imood.com


+Friends+


+Hangout+



[*Yahoo*]
[*MSN*]
[**BeYoNd**]
[**JaY ChOu**]
[**Zhou Dong**]
[^^Fernando Torres^^]
[*Videos*]
[**Highly Recommended**]
[*AliveNotDead*]
[*Friendster*]


+Archives+

July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
December 2007

+Credits+

Powered by Blogger
Found at Blogskins
Layout by Rachel