Yup! It's been a super duper long time since i last updated this blog.
All I know is that, everytime when i decided to share my views here, i've learnt something in life. I'm the sort who appreciates every mmt of my life. Unfortunately, i can make plans for it and yet not accomplishing it. Well, silly you may call me but i strongly believe that having some plans and hopes in life keeps me going.
That's why I just don't undestand why some people could bear grudges and live on as though the entire world had done them wrong. What's the point of keeping all the negative feelings and live with a hell lots of vengence?
Why am I talking about these? Ok, it all originates from this person i knew and has been giving me headaches and stress all these while. I once hated this person for all the unnecessary pain and torture that i failed to tackle with and allowed my life to go downhill while tt person live on like a king. Very often i confronted my friends and soulmates how miserable i felt and the fear i lived in everyday that i'll accidentally unknowingly provoked a giant at slp. Time and time again, i couldn't walk out of misery and fear. My life was really upside down, nothing could lift up my spirits.
Almost forgot, I must introduce this fella to you guys before i proceed on. I must say this person is a very unhappy person (as this person nvr smiles, black face is all you'll see), probably one with high expectations in life/work, unable to accept imperfections, unwilling to associate with ppl whom was considered to be the "inferior" and having the misconceptions of being the most capable and perfect being. With all these, you can imagine why this person is such a pain in the a**. With all these, arrogance comes into picture. With arrogance, ppl like me are often picked on like suckers, so much so tt I begin to suspect my own capabilities and gradually lose all of my confidence and esteem. I became very submissive to all the person's unreasonable orders, expectations and requirements. Yea, a puppet. No, i didn't flare up or stood up to defend myself, neither did i think of giving up so i let things pass on ... ...
As time ticks by, the stress accumulates and finally affected my health and being. There were achings on my shoulders and affected my slp, i couldn't have peace when i slp and woke up the next day in fear of starting the brand new day. I have muscles tensions everywhere!!!
All the misery ended when someone i met a few days ago, helped me by massaging the tensed muscles over my shoulders, well i was asked why i had to sacrifice my body for someone like that? I had two choice, to change my mindset of that person (not to be affected) or just give up. This person who gives me hell probably has no confidence and was only faking it all the while to hide those imperfections, at the same time being unhappy all the time is because this person just couldn't take things the way it is!! It's just signs of being weak isn't so?
Sympathy is the word to describe my feelings towards this human being. One who take things so hard will never learn to let go and be happy. High expectations doesn't guarantee satisfaction. Remember, if you are unhappy it affects ppl ard you. All of us shld noe this by now, we don't have to face ppl/ friends with a gloomy face and make them unhappy. If you are unhappy and wanna showcase your bl**dy black face, i can BOLDLY say this, keep yourself at home.
At last, i've managed to walk out of my fears and live on like i used to be. I'm still adjusting so... i hope i'll make it.
gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Thursday, April 06, 2006
: 4:07 am