I'm having a slight migraine now, sian can't even enjoy my X'mas in peace sia...
Everything seems perfect today xcept my stupid brain which thinks just 2 much. Tt's y i haf such an immerse desire 2 blog.
I watched a HK series this morning, a scene act struck me alot.
{As Man X was on his way 2 wk, he found tt a guy trying 2 hang himself on e tree near by. Man X later found out tt he owed alot of $ & was feeling despaired. Man X helped him by offering to clear his debts only if this guy is willing 2 wk 4 him. The guy was so grateful & replied: "Oh thanks, i really dunno wat 2 do 2 repay u, but my life is yours."
A few yrs later, Man X had a dispute w/ this guy & accidentally murdered him. This case was brought up 2 court. Man X claimed tt he had e rights 2 kill him as he has ever saved his life since this guy was supposed 2B dead! He was e 1 who gave him a 2nd chance 2 live.} It's a drama, so of course in e end e murderer was sentenced 2 death.
But let's put all yr CME lessons aside, do u think he has e rights 2 haf control of his life & death although he had saved his life?
Haf u ever wondered, you might b killed wrongfully 1 day jux bcos of what u said? What if i'm killed becos of wat i mentioned in my blog? Or maybe i'm gonna be condemned for e rest of my life bcos of it? There's freedom of speech in S'pore but how many appreciates tt? How many went up 2 e speaker's corner 2 share their views? (Or rather how many bothers 2 listen 2 those who share)
Fear. The fear of being 'targeted', e fear of being condemned & misunderstood. But tt's common & definitely normal. Wat abt those who aren't afraid 2 share whatever's on their minds? What will you think of em? Fake? Abnormal? Trouble-makers? Would you rather be defeated by Fear of by The others ard u?
Although i don't scold anyone or talked abt anyone in my blog but sometimes i feel tt words r really strong weapons tt kills. I'm not much of a language person but still i hope tt my tots can be understood. I haf e tendency 2 let my tots run wild but i nvr let them out, cos this side of me just doesn't manifests & most ppl prefer 2 live their live talking abt realistic topics. Me... w/o e language power & courage 2 bring up my inner thoughts here often envy those who does. Although they seem diff in their style of communication, but they r capable of converting their spontaneous tots into words. More often than not, they r disguise of real feelings. I usually appreciates them as a piece or art as it often leads me into e deeper side of e person & not away from e person...
Funny tt how much a simple HK drama can make me ponder. But to me it's worth giving it a thought though.

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Saturday, December 25, 2004

I went to Foon Yew Sch in JB this afternoon to perform in their annual concert together with my other friends from NPS. Hmmm, probably only a 5 mins ride from the customs of Malaysia. IF! there's no traffic conjestion. So if i say i left sch at 3pm, you expected me to reach there by 4pm. BUT!!! I reach at abt 5.30pm. Haha! We walked along the causeway in the rain and walked through the streets, walked into a shopping centre and waited for the bus to fetch us to the sch. We were welcomed by 4 students of Foon Yew at the customs actually and they were friendly and warm. I felt their sincerity & appreciated them. They showed us ard & intro a few places (where u can eat great nasi lemak lah, mee rebus lah, HK tim sum lah etc) Their sch is a combination of sec and high sch and it's an independent chinese sch. Signboards were all in traditional chinese, and you can see a statue of Confucious rite in front of the entrance to the main lobby. Right at the front of the sch is a... Sea! What else... the sch has 97 yrs of history and it looks old. They haf basic facilities and hostles and many blks of building (come on, there's even one whole blk of building for Libary!!)
Walking into the sch makes me feel as though i'm back to my parent's sch haha! But they are like anyone of us. They speaks gd chinese, far better than alot of us and they put up a great performance. Althought their sch were not as new as schs in Singapore, but they are not at all inferior. They haf many talented and gd players at least.
Besides happy stuffs to share there are also unhappy ones. My performance was a cock up one, i guess it's the Grand Piano's fault. I'm too stressed by it. All along i dreamt of playing one and yet i ruined it. I must admit tt i didn't put in alot of effort in practising this song, to be frank i could haf done better. At the same time, luck was totally not with me, the lightings were not to my favour, my shadows covered the entire 1 side of the bk, i had to "feel" my keys and "imagine" the notes to play. I was really sad tt i sobbed immediately i got down the stage, i felt humiliated by their applause, at the same time feeling remorseful.
My partner didn't mind my mistakes, and well, he tot tt he had made unpardonabel mistakes but he took it well, he suggested tt we shld learn from this performance. I agreed.
Ahem!!! Alright this is my 3rd time playing piano accompaniment, i think it's experience tt i lacked. And i will not give up, i do a better the next time. I hope... ...
Hmmm to add on, it's really impt tt i don't feel too stressed and anxious b4 performance, i admit i was today, cos the thought of me going to play the Grand makes me so. My anxiety spoils it all, i rather i was playing on a normal piano instead. I really haf to learn to control my pre-performance feelings.
It took me 3 hrs to get bk to S'pore. Shld haf eaten something in JB... I had to squeeze myself all the way up to the customs, took a long bus ride to S'pore's custom and took a Taxi back to sch (luckily can claim ah!) Hahaha!
I'm eating instant noodles rite nw, although i had dinner, i guess i stressed too much tt i used up alot of energy.
I'm thankful tt i was given a chance to perform in JB's Foon Yew sch, a learning experience indeed, there are so many i could learn from them.
Cheers to my next few performances!!!!

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Sunday, December 19, 2004

Yo!
I'm goin to make use of this chance to announce tt i've decided to change my MSN messenger add to dtzl8505@hotmail.com. Kindly add me if i haven't added you yet thanks. It's alot of wk...
Hmmm, thinking alot abt myself today... y i did this, y i did that... haiz, i'm so pathetic. Can't i just be more "Fang4 De2 Kai1"??? Tsk, just do whatever i wanna do to make myself happy lah? But i think i'm not tt strong to do it. I'll always think tt i rather let myself down then letting others down. To think tt i've called someone the other day and scolded tt person... i guessed tt person just overstepped the border lah... I somehow felt bad abt it but i really wanted to stand up and voice out. At tt time, i realised how angry i could get. So, i'm not as "tolerant" as i thought i was ...
Not bad lah, i've only been angry with my friends twice so far. I hope to keep that record. To be frank, i was so shocked by how angry i got the other day, i can't believe tt i could really call someone up & yell! Just very un-me to do tt. Tsk i used my HP somemore, waste of talktime...
I haf nothing else to say liao, lost of inspiration =(

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Hi everyone! I'm very happy today cos the outing today was a v succesful one. Also very relaxing and carefree. Talked abt Harry's, the bar at Esplanade today, i'm looking forward to it... I shld haf mentioned abt it earlier to my friends, but i still like e idea of going there after sch reopens, it lightens me up. Wrote my wishes at one of the lamp post at Esplanade today, hope it'll come true. I'll definitely wait for that day to come... ... Please come... ...
I've a very interesting story here to share: Enjoy!
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don't understand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are you? Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese...?" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked, "What kind of -kee are you?" The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of -kee am I?" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee or monkee?" Lesson III - Never INSULT anyone.

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Saturday, December 04, 2004

What e *ell, i'm nw @ ORI, editing my stupid report again. Done it like 4eva already! Here since 11am & nw it's 2.50pm. Not e record breaking kind, but i'm really tired. It's done already & sent 4 grading. My report, better bring me luck! Anyway i'm not goin 2 touch u ever again! Yo ho! Meetin 2 friends later, it was a last min decision!. I'm sian of staying here & go hm straight loh! Lookin @ my "Jaytistic" blog makes me feel charged up again! Friends, i'm flying 2 meet u nw!

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Friday, December 03, 2004

...
Hey! This is my blog's new look. Finally found a nice one to change. Sorry, i'm still v obsessed with him at the mmt... I've added a song, i guess that's the only diff apart from the previous one. Due to this template, i think it wouldn't be nice if my entry is too long, and i've realised tt i typed alot last time! Oh my! When i saw my friend's blog, their entries were quite short... I guess i need a change this time.

gecko85 obsessed with Jay Chou (>,<) Thursday, December 02, 2004